First, thank you all for the support you've given me this past week. I've received a bunch of great emails and comments, and it means a lot to know that I'm not alone as my symptoms completely drive me nuts.
As I mentioned, I had my OBGYN visit today. She asked how I was doing, and I could barely keep the tears in. My response: "I try really hard to come in smiling and not be a problem patient, but I am so sick right now I can't even fake it. I can't live like this anymore."
She asked about my symptoms, about how the baby is acting inside my belly (he's still a happy, karate chopping jumping bean), and then she caught glimpse of the endless twitching.
"Wow. I've never seen you this bad before."
Tell me about it.
"Have you ever had a patient like this before (with so many neuro problems)?"
I was slightly disappointed to hear that she hasn't.
It doesn't help that she caught me on a day when I'm running on three hours of sleep (the bone pain and electricity kept me up, and I finally caught a nap after I watched the sun rise.) Sleep deprivation = extra twitchy and my eyes were little puffy slits.
I'm not trying to make this overly dramatic--let's just say I'm looking a little rough these days.
After the normal monitoring and testing, she said that my cervix is thin, but I'm not dilated yet. We talked about what was going to happen right after birth, and I relayed the info I'd gotten from my LLMD--we're limited to Zithromax for the remainder of the pregnancy, but the second this guy comes out, I can switch to something more effective for me. I told her I planned to have my bottle of Minocycline with me at the hospital (it's already filled) so I can at least start on something better right away. (IV is not an option at this time for many reasons, but mostly because I just don't want to deal with it.)
Then she surprised me:
"Living with this much pain is torture. If you can get better treatment as soon as you give birth, then I think it's time to evict this baby. "
I couldn't agree more. That said, we have to make sure baby is healthy and ready to be evicted first, because it really is all about him. OBGYN consulted with a couple of other doctors, and they agreed that an early induction would be best for all, but I need a couple of things first:
1. An induction can't get approved unless my LLMD writes a note saying that my Lyme treatment will change after I give birth. Sounds simple enough, but from the beginning, LLMD has been hesitant to help with anything baby related (a case of covering asses, I'm sure), so we'll see how that goes
2. On Monday I will have to go in for another weekly OBGYN checkup to see if I've dilated or my symptoms have improved (I can change my mind about induction at any time, especially if I'm feeling better). If I'm still a twitchy crying monster, we will proceed with an amniocentesis
3. I'll have the amnio to make sure that Wyatt's lungs are developed and all is well in baby town
4. Regardless of my pain and weakness, I'm still on board for trying to deliver vaginally, so if the little guy is able to take a big breath of air, I will be induced.
I'm assuming all of this will take a week, which puts me at a delivery of right around 37 weeks (technically considered full term.) If all moves quickly, though, we're going to be parents NEXT WEEK. (Holy crap.)
Talk about a major surprise.
To celebrate, I had my husband buy me a box of Benadryl. Hoping that antihistamine will knock me the heck out so I can rest up for the craziness that's about to take place.
I'm ready and I'm not ready. A lot to take in all in a day, but I just keep thinking about the prize at the end. Wyatt will be safe, and I can start a new treatment plan instead of continuing on this declining path. And, oh yeah, I'LL BE A MOM!
All I want is to be able to be there for my son. I want to enjoy those first few weeks of his life where everything is new and beautiful and somewhat surreal. We are almost a real family! No matter what, Lyme Disease will not take that from us.
I am a mother and writer with Chronic Lyme, on the road to acceptance and recovery. I was bitten in 1996, diagnosed 2008. I am living proof that it is possible to live meaningfully and have happy, healthy children while battling this terrible disease.