Well, I had a feeling my surge of energy would be short lived. Still, I am grateful for those few days of wonderful freedom.
Tomorrow I officially begin my third trimester. My belly is growing bigger by the day (see above)! Dear, sweet Lyme and Co. has rewarded me with extra fatigue, bone and nerve pain, blurry vision, lots of twitches, and a dead right leg that seems to work and not work again depending on, well, nothing really. There's no rhyme or reason to any of this. I've also been repaid a visit from my old friend morning sickness.
Here's where it gets tricky (and here's where vague answers from doctors come into play).
Is it really morning sickness, or is the nausea and vomiting from the Lyme vertigo that's started back up again over the last few days?
Pregnancy vs. Lyme symptoms. Sometimes they feel like one in the same, so get ready to play the nine-month-long guessing game that leads to only one answer: Who knows?
My take is that symptoms are symptoms. Pain is undesirable no matter the root cause. Methods of treating these symptoms are somewhat limited during pregnancy, so as long as you stay on top of getting the issues checked out (i.e. make sure that baby is healthy and is not coming out before he or she is supposed to), life will improve in time. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway. We're strong women. We were built for this stuff, right?
I'm having the mysterious cramps again. Far different from the "normal stretching" that takes place as the uterus expands (a weird feeling but nothing to write home about). It's a very strong, pulsing, menstrual-like pain that radiates to my lower back and legs and concerns my OBGYN, though we can't find a reason for it. It puts me out of commission for days at a time, but mostly, it's just scary.
At the risk of sharing TMI, I am constantly my checking toilet paper for signs of blood, because it feels like it should be there. Paranoia? Perhaps. But it's a bothersome albeit temporary habit/fear, and I still have the yips over previous pregnancies-gone-wrong.
Sometimes I wonder if I'd be so paranoid about every little symptom if I didn't have Lyme, or if I'm just so in tune with my body after years of hyper-vigilance that I'm blowing things out of proportion. Is my mom intuition meter skewed already due to the fact that I'm deathly afraid of hurting my baby with this Lyme crap?
This is my first pregnancy, so I have no idea if those pulsing pains (called the womp womps, because if this particular pulsing pain had a sound, that's what it would be) are anything to be worried about.
My mantra this pregnancy: better safe than sorry.
I read all of the forum discussions. I know of the Lyme pregnancy horror stories lurking out there, and I don't want that to be me (or Wyatt).
I do know that both my Lyme and regular doctors agree: I have so much nerve stuff happening in my body (most of my Lyme woes are neurological with some extra love from Bartonella), it could very well be Lyme related.
All I can say is that if it's a pain that makes you nervous, there's nothing more reassuring than a quick cervix check and a heartbeat scan at the doctor's. It's worth the piece of mind, and a healthy mind is a healthy mommy and baby. (Words of wisdom from the giant ball of neurosis!)
I am a mother and writer with Chronic Lyme, on the road to acceptance and recovery. I was bitten in 1996, diagnosed 2008. I am living proof that it is possible to live meaningfully and have happy, healthy children while battling this terrible disease.