Tonight's our big night. In just four hours we find out if there's an actual baby growing inside me. I keep looking at the clock, wondering what the hell kind of ultrasound tech only works evenings--I was ready to know the second I opened my eyes this morning!
I'm 50% hopeful, 50% already saying, "Don't worry, if this doesn't work out you can always try again when you're actually prepared." Honestly though, as much as I've tried to play it cool, I'm attached to this little life, and I hope with all of my soul that we see a heartbeat tonight.
With Wyatt, I had every symptom in the book and then some. Seriously, I was a hot mess. This time around I have NO symptoms. In fact, I haven't even had any Lyme symptoms (for the first time in years). Not that I want to complain about that--I just feel like it's too good to be true. I've read and heard about how symptoms of painful, chronic conditions are masked during pregnancy due to the increase in hormones, I just didn't think it could happen to me. Am I just lucky for the moment, or am I not experiencing symptoms because there's no baby in there?
I guess we'll find out soon enough.
Please keep your fingers crossed for us. Hoping to report good news shortly.
I am a mother and writer with Chronic Lyme, on the road to acceptance and recovery. I was bitten in 1996, diagnosed 2008. I am living proof that it is possible to live meaningfully and have happy, healthy children while battling this terrible disease.