Just two weeks ago I had a hard time deciding what to do with this blog. Wyatt is now 5 months old, I barely have time to write as much as I want to, and as much as I’d love to devote all of my free time to Lyme pregnancy research, I just don’t have it to spare.
I entertained idea of starting a Lyme parenting blog (which I will do eventually). Then I told myself to stop whining and write two blogs--one for pregnancy and one for parenting. And then I finally got frustrated enough to say that maybe it’s run its course, it’s time for this journal to end.
And then something weird happened. One morning last week I made my usual egg-whites for breakfast. They tasted off, and by the time I was 3/4 finished I was ready to hurl. I had to spit out my last bite. Nothing like bad eggs first thing in the morning, right?
The next day my husband lumbered down the stairs and grumbled good morning after soothing a cranky teething baby all night. I don’t even think he opened his mouth wide enough for real words to come out, but I could smell from across the room that he’s just brushed his teeth. Mint. Gross. Gross? Gross mint and and an overwhelming wave of nausea?!
Ohhhh, this was way too familiar.
Between the Lyme symptoms and caring for an infant, I can count the number of times I’ve had sex on...well...I’m actually too ashamed to finish that sentence, because it’s so lame. But all it takes is one time, right?
I ran to the dollar store and bought 7 pregnancy tests because I’m weird like that (whatever--they’re a dollar). I peed on four of them. Guess how many came out positive? Oh yeah.
Remember that part in the movie Juno when Ellen Page pees on the stick and shakes it and the guy tells her it’s not an etch-a-sketch and you can’t erase it (or something to that measure)? That was me.
And then it hit me: Holy crap. I’m pregnant! YESSSS!!
And then it hit me again: Oh God, I’m pregnant. I’m still fat, sick, and exhausted from the first one! I’m officially ruined...
Back to, YES! Maybe it will be a girl this time!
For hours I experienced an emotional spectrum ranging from blissful elation, all the way to sheer panic and fear, and quite honestly, some quick moments of dread. In the end, elation won, but I do realize that I will be viewed as insane by most of the community.
And so my question regarding what to do with this blog resolved itself.
I’m friggin’ pregnant.
So here I am, (happily) signing on for another nine months of experience and research, all of which I will share with you lovely Lymies.
Now that I know what I’m dealing with this time around, I hope to enjoy this pregnancy more (as much as one can enjoy pregnancy, anyway), and I will use this opportunity to grill every doctor I come in contact with for useful information for all of us.
Merry Christmas, everyone. Hope your holiday season was filled with good surprises too!
I am a mother and writer with Chronic Lyme, on the road to acceptance and recovery. I was bitten in 1996, diagnosed 2008. I am living proof that it is possible to live meaningfully and have happy, healthy children while battling this terrible disease.