Yesterday's consult with my LLMD was uneventful. I will start back on oral Zithromax within the next couple of weeks, but I'm supposed to let my body detox from all meds a little while longer.
Not sure how I feel about that, as my health seems to have taken a nose dive this past week, but I've been assured that the second trimester is the safest in terms of avoiding Lyme transmission.
Typically, doctors are most concerned during the first and third trimesters, so I'm just going to gut it out for a couple more weeks and take it easy. (Husband does the chores while I read a book on the patio? No complaints there!)
In the meantime, I'm focusing on dealing with stress in a healthy, more productive way. Many women deal with anxiousness during pregnancy. Who wouldn't? Baby supplies and birth plans. Expanding bodies and shrinking bank accounts. Discussing with your partner how life as you know it is about to change in a major way. Are you ready? Can you handle this commitment? (Of course you can, but that doesn't mean the insecurities aren't there from time to time.)
Lymies have the added bonus of a stressful illness that leaves our physical and mental abilities inconsistent at best. I'm not going to lie. I've gotten all sorts of neurotic and stressed during this pregnancy. I've also spent a lot of time Googling things like, "Is my anxiety harmful to my unborn baby?"
The answer is, yes. Anxiety-ridden mommies have a greater chance of having anxious children. Whether that's genetic or just a learned habit from mom, I don't know. I never know what to believe with these "studies" anyway, but this particular idea makes sense to me.
Regardless of how it affects baby, we should try to live stress-free for ourselves. You already know by now that stress makes sick people sicker. It has a negative impact on even the healthiest people.
I get tired of reading those articles--"Ten Ways to Eliminate Stress," and they repeat the same things over and over. Breathe. Meditate. Get a pedicure. Exercise (yeah I'll get right on that as soon as I can feel my legs again). Sniff some scented oil (barf).
Here's how I look at it: We're obviously all different, and as much as meditating works for me, you might think it's a crock. The smell of fresh lemons might make you want to hurl. But here's what we ALL have in common: there are at least a few things in this life that make us so happy/content that we feel physically lighter and more relaxed.
These don't have to be huge, life changing things. For me, it's all about reading books on Buddhism, preferably outside when there's a nice breeze. I like taking pictures of things in my neighborhood, especially new spring blooms. I like to hug my dog, stick my feet in the lake across the street and throw rocks in the water. On great days, I have a friend over for tea or I share a "fancy" meal at home with my husband. By fancy, I mean we drink our water out of wine glasses and we use the good napkins and plates for the hell of it.
As long as you're present in that exact moment, enjoying it for what it is, your muscles will loosen up, you will take deeper breaths, but most importantly, the world will not feel as heavy.
So think about it--what are your "this is what makes life better!" activities? Next time you're stressed about babies or health, try doing one of these things you love and just be kind to yourself and enjoy the mini mental vacation.
I am a mother and writer with Chronic Lyme, on the road to acceptance and recovery. I was bitten in 1996, diagnosed 2008. I am living proof that it is possible to live meaningfully and have happy, healthy children while battling this terrible disease.