The Lyme Pregnancy Journal Is Back

Hi Friends,

I've been entertaining the idea for a while, but tonight I decided to open up the LPJ and pick up where I left off a couple of years ago.

I will start by saying that I am not, I repeat, I am NOT pregnant (don't worry, Mom!), but a few realizations have hit me over recent months and I'm inspired to write again:

1. I have kept up with current protocols and treatment guidelines, and some of them have changed since I began this project four years ago

2. I still get just as many emails from women who are pregnant or considering becoming pregnant as I did when this blog was active. This tells me that current resources are still lacking, and I want to help if I can

3. When I was pregnant, I was IN it. Everything felt urgent because I was sick, hormonal, scared as hell, and man, looking back on these entries, you really got a play-by-play of my life, which is kind of weird but also a little cool because I immediately rehashed doctor info and explained bizarre physical symptoms. I am here now to say that the retrospective portion of this pregnancy story will be just as helpful. There are things I would have done differently. Some the same. I would have prepared more for life AFTER baby, which I will get into later

4. I try to stay off of the Lyme/Facebook forums as much as possible, because they either depress me or make me want to kick people, which says a lot because I'm CLEARLY a lover not a fighter, and besides that, I don't waste my spoons! When we start these health blogs, I'm not sure we all realize how greatly our words can impact a reader, so while it's good to be able to vent our frustrations about chronic illness, if we are spreading fear, negativity, or inaccurate information in the process, we are not really helping our healing cause. That said, the doom and gloom in Lyme Land is bringing me down, and I'd like to counteract that with a little dose of positive realism and sprinkle in some hope. The beautiful thing about having the internet AND freedom of speech is that, while I may (respectfully) disagree with some sentiments about never being able to have kids while battling Lyme, I can offer you the other side (what you're hoping is true in your heart or else you would not be reading this blog): If you feel up to the challenge, yeah you sure as hell can

There are a whole bunch of pregnant Lyme moms this month-- more than usual have reached out.
I thought it might be a good idea to have an old school Q&A post similar to the entries from the beginning of the LPJ. Within the next week I'll compile a list of my most received Lyme pregnancy questions and answer them here. In the meantime, if you have any questions you'd like answered, please post them in the comments section or email them to me asap: lymepregnancy@gmail.com if you're not into posting publicly.

I look forward to hearing from old friends and making new ones. I hope you are all doing well and feeling as healthy as can be.

*Note: My brain isn't what it used to be. Mush and vertigo after ten minutes of nighttime computer, so please excuse any errors. It's not laziness-- just the best I can do until I start making money and can hire a proofreader ;)

One More Look At Breastfeeding

If you’re like me, you want all of your pregnancy decisions to be no brainers. Our treatment courses are so individualized as it is, and we’re often confused and not sure if we’re improving, declining, or doomed to live forever in the purgatory better known as, “I’m able to function, but I feel like crap all the time.” Choices become even harder when we factor in the future of a developing baby.

That said, I don’t mean to further confuse you with the following breastfeeding update:

My intent for this blog is to provide as much Lyme pregnancy info as I can, and I understand that just because something works for me, doesn’t mean it will work for others.

I’ve posted a couple of times on breastfeeding, and in the end, I made my own list of pros and cons and decided against it. My LLMD agreed and encouraged formula feeding. For those of you not interested in formula, I have some interesting news:

I recently received and email from my friend and fellow pregnant Lymie. She spoke with her LLMD about breastfeeding, and her doctor highly encouraged it. She is going to give it a try, and I think that’s great news! (Just goes to show you that LLMDs’ opinions differ greatly.) According to her doctor, “there is no evidence of passing lyme through breast milk. However, even if there are bacteria in the breast milk, it may be digested by the stomach acid. Also, if you take antibiotics while breastfeeding, you pass on the antibiotic protection to the baby.”
I don’t know why I never thought about it from that angle, but it makes sense...in the off chance some spirochetes make their way into the milk, it would be nearly impossible to survive our harsh stomach acid. Much different than passing it through the blood.

She also told me that she plans on getting her breastmilk tested. Until now, I had no idea that this was an option, though it seems obvious and I wonder why I didn’t think of it while I was pregnant. (As soon as I get more details on the testing, I will post them.)

As I watch my own son struggle with formula (it took us the better part of three months to find a formula that didn’t bother his sensitive tummy), I sometimes wonder if I should have taken the chance and gone the natural route.
(The “what-if” mentality will do nothing but drive you nuts, btw.)

I should point out that even though she still experiences some symptoms, my friend is mobile and on the mend, and therefore isn’t anticipating any aggressive not-safe-for-baby treatments after delivery. This makes breastfeeding a viable option.

She also mentioned that she plans on pumping. She’s doing it for personal reasons that are not Lyme related, but I’d like to add that it’s a fantastic way to give your baby the good stuff, yet till have the freedom to take a nap and let your partner take over if you’re not feeling well. (Trust me, there will be days where you’ll need extra sleep.)

Again, I’ll stick with what I’ve believed since the beginning: I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer to any of this, because we just don’t know enough about the disease yet.

We do the best we can, and we do what feels right. No matter the decision, these babies will be well loved and cared for.

Thank you, L, for sharing this information with us. Please update us and let us know how it goes for you. *Stay tuned for info on breastmilk testing.

Breastfeeding Revisited

A while back I posted my initial thoughts on breastfeeding based on my doctor’s recommendations. During a time when many women and doctors are militant and sometimes downright mean about the importance of breastfeeding, I had to work hard to get past the embarrassment and guilt over my choosing to go straight for the can of powder mix. By the time pregnancy was over and I’d weighed my options a million times, I was totally fine with my decision to have a formula fed baby.

Wyatt did fine with Similac in the hospital. The nurses were surprisingly supportive and were happy to feed him during the night so I could sleep. When the subject of breastfeeding came up with any of them, they were quick to tell me the formula was just fine and that I had a medical condition that prevented me from being able to feed him any other way. At first I was impressed by such forward thinking. Maybe doctors and nurses were finally entertaining the idea that spirochetes can transfer through breast milk? Not so much. In fact, I recommend not even discussing milk transmission unless you have to or if you want to be told that your Lyme information in severely outdated.

I soon found out that they were commenting on my upcoming medication switch, which was deemed necessary because my symptoms were so bad. I was so caught up in spirochete transmission through breast milk, I didn’t even consider that I wouldn’t be able to breast feed, because all of the medications that actually work for me wouldn’t work for baby. Something to keep in mind, especially if you have a bunch of allergies and your antibiotic/supplement options are limited: Breastfeeding might not be an option at all, even if you want it to be.

Fast forward to my first week at home. I hadn’t started any not-safe-for-baby meds yet, because I was terrified of a herx on top of C-section pain. Formula feeding was going very well, but my baby blues had started to kick in, and weird things were happening to me emotionally. Mostly, I’d get weepy at feeding time. It had nothing to do with Lyme. Nothing to do with the icky chemical ingredients I read on the back of the formula can. It was purely natural, instinctual, kind of like an animal-- Wyatt would cry for food and I yearned to breastfeed. Like I HAD to. My boobs actually hurt as he sucked on his bottle, and it broke my heart that I had all of this milk to give him, and I felt so unfulfilled measuring out the powder instead.

So I said screw it. I’m going to breastfeed him. The chance of transmission is so rare, and I’m learning more and more that I’ve been panicking for no reason, though I’d have to put off taking different, stronger doses of antibiotics. I talked to the pediatrician, who loved the idea, but I admit that I didn’t tell my LLMD because I’d get an earful. (Sometimes I choose to follow my strong instincts and not the advice of the doctor.)

I spent an hour in a hot shower massaging my breasts, trying to get the milk to come back. I thought I’d lost it, because it had been so long they didn’t even hurt any more. But eventually it came back, and I happily prepared myself for the glorious bonding experience I’d envisioned.

Wow. What a letdown.

Granted, I know breastfeeding takes practice and things would have gone better if I’d learned in the hospital and gave it time, but it was painful, and it was awkward for both of us. Wyatt latched on fine, but I swear, he didn’t like it. He fussed for a long time and then opened one eye up at me, as if to say, “WTF Mom?!”

That pressing need to breastfeed vanished as quickly as it came, and Wyatt was as happy as a clam when I gave him a bottle instead. As if to reassure me that I’d made the right choice, I had a bad symptom night that same evening and knew it was time to start taking my meds. (For the record, I’m feeling awesome now on Minocycline, which is not baby safe.)

Obviously, I can only comment on my own experience. You might try breastfeeding, do well with it, and love it. I just wanted to let you know that if you’re having guilty feelings about choosing not to breast feed (or if you’re unable due to meds), my feeling is that even though it’s the favored choice for babies, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

As for the idea that mother and child bond better when they breastfeed? I disagree. I’ve experienced intense bonding moments while feeding my guy his formula. We have a routine now, I’m understanding his needs, and he’s a very happy baby.

Overall, life is good. I’m happy I tried breast feeding because the need/curiosity would have driven me completely nuts, but I stand by my original decision to play it safe and stick with the bottle. Just do what works best for you and your family and follow your instincts.

Photo from Babble.com